Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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#Getweird

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops