A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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women's rights

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops