A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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punchline below punchline above

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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kkkk

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops