You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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