how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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A blond, a brunette, and an Asian take a test. They all get exceptional grades and pass college.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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I like school Said no one ever.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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