A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Worms don't like apples.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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