A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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