whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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