Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i think quinn is gay? you probably don't know him but when i walked him on him shoveling a ken doll is his butt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wright flyer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Internet Explorer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops