Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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