What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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You having friends.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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womens rights

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops