An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

charlie sheen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How's the weather? Good.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops