What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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How come anti jokes r funny

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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