Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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hi joshua

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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