What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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KILL WHITEY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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