Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

knock, knock whos there child molestor

How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

What's brown and sticky? Anal

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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