A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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You know whats funny Aids

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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Fart

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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