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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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a boy liked a girl. too bad she didn't like him.

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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