There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

Knock knock come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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