Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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stuarts mum

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Women's Rights

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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