Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Black People

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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No.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Religion.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Gay's

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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