A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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What is white black and Chinese A panda

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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tee hee

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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Justin Beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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