Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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A man made a sandwich.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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the love boat

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Your existance.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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toast points

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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