Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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