A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

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What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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