What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Donald Trump

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Chicken penis.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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69

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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Land Rovers

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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YEAH THEY DO.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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