Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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