What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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Twenty-Four

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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what do you watch ? a tv

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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