A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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im black

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops