A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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The Irish man was sober.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Doorbell salesman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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