What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Romney 2012

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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