whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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Why did I get raped

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how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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If you are my friend like it!

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops