Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

joe diragi makes paul look straight

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

don't look behind you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Homework.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops