What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

thumb_up thumb_down +2

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down

jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops