Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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h

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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