What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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obama is a good president

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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