What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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How much is an abortion? A life

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a black guy and a squirrel get hit on two different roads. whats is the difference? there are swerve marks by the squirrel.

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wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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YOU IS DUM

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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223

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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