What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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like my drawing of a white person?

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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