Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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your momma's an antijoke

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Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Did you know?

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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