How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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guess what?

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops