Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Dwarf Shortage

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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