Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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NEVER

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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