Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops