What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +12

1234567777777777777777778

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops