What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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gay pom...

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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