Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Your mother just died.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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