roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Niall Horan

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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