I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

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Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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A gay man watches football.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

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Caolan and Eamon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops