Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops