Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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