whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops